Welcome to the Cult of Our Lady Magdalene!

You can call us Cool Magdalene for short. We are a for-profit interfaith group based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Our priestesses are highly skilled individuals with great emotional intelligence who can help guide you where you want to go in life. You set the direction of your own path. We just light the way.

Why Do We Call Ourselves a Cult?

When we were looking into starting this project, we thought a lot about the words “church” and “cult”, and what they meant to people. We found that when we did outreach, people often recoiled at the word church, which they had come to be suspicious of.

We recognize the word “cult” brings to mind negative realities – brainwashing, non-consent, manipulative conversion. However, every instance of these things we could think of were organizations that didn’t call themselves a cult. They used a variety of euphemisms, like “Temple”, “Institute”, “Congregation” and, yes, even “Church”. We realized that when we called COOL Magdalene an experiment in creating an ethical cult, people were curious while also maintaining some healthy skepticism. We want to encourage our community to maintain autonomy and to look for questions instead of answers.

Another reason why the word “cult” is more suitable than the word “church” is because of what the original underlying words really mean. The word “cult” comes from the word which means “to grow” and is the root of the words “culture” and “cultivate”. The word “church”, on the other hand, is traditionally associated with a physical location and often is synonymous with “temple” or “place of worship”. Our organization is not about constructing a physical location. Our organization is about growing a community around consent culture and self-actualization. Ultimately, we felt that using the term “cult” was both more transparent and more effective. What do you think?

Our Core Beliefs

  • There is no one true church
  • Love you as you are
  • Family values build families
  • No one needs to earn dignity
  • Fuck you pay me

What We’re Selling

If you become a full time member of Cool Magdalene , our priestesses will guide you on a personal spiritual journey that our highly trained psychological, theological and sociological experts will design especially to fit your needs. Whether your preference is ascetic academics or hedonistic rituals we can help you become who you are!

Not interested in a full time commitment? Not a problem! Sign up for individual services to sample what we can do for you or come to one of our parties and talk to us about what we can offer you. If you find any of this interesting or intriguing contact us so we can satisfy your curiosity … or whatever else it is in your life that lacks satisfaction.